Dreams never really die...

I am nearly 45 years old. About 39 years ago I decided on what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to sing - opera. Yes, opera! The trilling high notes, the fantastic costuming - what more could I want?

I've never sung in an opera, never been invited to be in an opera company.

Until now. I volunteered but never heard anything back.

When I was younger and in better shape, I auditioned for many parts. I always managed to be in the chorus of the school musicals, but could never quite get the leads. I didn't make it into the show choir in junior high or high school. I didn't quite get the highest marks at the state vocal festival. It was very discouraging. I gave up.

When I was 26 I had my tonsils and adenoids removed. It had been a long time coming. Believe me, it was a miserable experience. It also was the gateway to a discovery that gave me new hope. It was discovered that I could not breathe through my nose. Almost all my life, in every picture, I had my mouth open. Nobody noticed, other than some of my classmates that teased me.

Nobody ever thought it was a problem until my doctor that did my tonsil surgery looked up my nose. I had surgery to open up my breathing passages. The doctor explained the chiseling process he had gone through to open up my nose on both sides. He described me as having "the bone of a bull elephant" in my nose.

Interestingly enough, suddenly my voice had changed. It didn't feel the same or sound the same when I opened my mouth to sing. I had to relearn how to sing!

Suddenly people started to take notice of my voice. I was still only in the chorus of South Pacific, but I was in the chorus and I was still in the learning stages of what to do and how to do it. I thought back on lessons from my former teacher, Jodi Hardman, and tried to implement what I could remember her telling me. I was still not feeling confident in my abilities and was willing to accept the chorus as a no big deal. It had been years and I had never been good enough. Why would it change?

Finally, after I turned 40 and had many people approach me and ask me to sing, I realized I could do it. Mostly because I didn't much care what anybody thought any more.

I had a dream. It was still there, even after all those years and all that failure.

I approached a new teacher, one I had been intimidated by, and asked if she would be willing to work with me. She got me right in. I was on the right track! Last fall I did an hour long "concert/recital" all by myself. It was one of the most invigorating experiences of my life and I have had friends ask when I'm going to do it again. Unfortunately, the sinuses and nasal passages are a vital part of voice. I am not sure where I stand since having my nose smashed and rebuilt again.

I now sing with the American Festival Chorus. I haven't given up!

The dream is alive. I have made arrangements to start voice lessons again as soon as I'm working and able. I am meeting people and getting involved in things that will put me in the right places to be able to reach my star - my dream!

Dreams never really die, they just may sleep for awhile.