A year ago today I was thrilled and filled with great expectations, joy, hope, and happiness.
What a difference a year can make.
Today I am filled with despair. All hope is gone. I feel the fool and am nothing but discouraged, disgruntled and depressed.
I'm trying - really trying - to come up with something positive. Nothing is coming.
So, I really thought that John and I would beat the odds. I was sure we could create a life worth living together. We had a really great relationship. We were open and honest with each other. We worked well and played well together. He seemed interested in me and my family and supportive of all my crazy decisions.
It seemed the ideal.
Then his drug addiction took over. I had no idea for months that was what was happening. Stupid of me, I know. I just believed so much in his desire to get better and stay better.
He will be better when he is dead. That's all he really wants anyway. Not me. Not a positive life. Just to have it all over.
I wish he'd been more honest with me about it prior to January 1, 2011.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
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I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. Please let me know if you need anything... you are in my thoughts and prayers - as always. Love you my friend. xoxo
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