Could it be possible that someone could honestly be that stupid? That's my question for today. I just can't fathom being so out of touch with reality and people to know that you are obviously causing pain. Is it that she doesn't realize? That she is too stupid to see? Or is it, as I have always thought, that she takes such incredible joy in seeing my suffering.

Once, when she was complaining and I'd had enough I blew up at her. She was whining, yet again, about her husband and how he wasn't doing what SHE wanted him to do. SHE wanted him to quit working and stay home and take care of her and the house and the yard. To Hell with the bills she was running up - she has always been running up - she wanted to be waited on. I'd had enough of her whining and total unrealistic view.

I finally said to her, "Why can't you be thankful for what you have. He works hard to support you and to take care of you. I, on the other hand, say goodbye to my husbands toes as he snores on my way to work and say good night to his snoring body when I get home after work."

She heard my misery. She knew I was unhappy. So she laughed. She laughed and laughed and laughed like I had just told the funniest joke ever. My unhappiness - my fatigue - my depression - my sorrow all brings her the greatest of joy, so why should I assume she just doesn't understand what she's doing. That she's too stupid to realize?

She knows, She's cruel through and through, Cruel and sly as a fox. She's wicked in ways that one only sees if she isn't careful. She's abusive and cold and heartless. Most days I really wish I could hate her, but I can't.

She's my mother.

She's a demoness without measure and she's my mother..

Just what does that make me?